Parents personalities play a major role in shaping the kids behaviour in a positive or negative way, meaning that we are responsible of the way our kids respond to us especially that kids are very good imitators. My daughter used to talk to me the same way I talk to her when I’m angry. That used to upset me, but when I thought of it, I realized that it’s important to watch my words and actions, and if she is good at copying me then why not show her better actions and behaviours that she can imitate, that would make me very happy, because that’s exactly what we want as parents. Our behaviour as adults comes from the nature of our personalities. In this article we will talk about three major personality characteristics that affect our kids behaviour in a negative way.
The Idol:
Parents with this personality are mostly idols of success and self-confidence. They are mostly organized and are good at planning their work and activities. Many of them play roles as bosses at work and leaders within the community events for example. This type of parents though, tend to have high expectation from others including their kids, sometimes unrealistic expectation! They tend to direct and correct, and are hard to please. The kids by nature are not expected to be perfect because they go through continuous learning process from birth to adult age and even upward, so parents with this personality should consider working closely with their kids to achieve their goals, with training, bypassing their mistakes, encouragement and support. Allow them to do mistakes and tell them about your own fails.
The Fanatic:
As we all know, our traditions, life style, way of thinking and so many details in our lives change from generation to another, though, many parent try to raise their kids the same way they were raised. I can imagine how much struggle these parents go through, because it just doesn’t work. In Schools for example, kids of nowadays generation are respected by their peers and teachers, they are given the power of choice, and they can discuss things and give their point of view on it. In their household however, they receive orders that shouldn’t be argued, and they are told to do things because the parents said so.
This type of parents are also know of being strict when it comes to certain aspects of life in particular. For instance, some of them are so radical about school grades, others about discipline and others about religion practices or getting a secure job versus entrepreneurship. Many of these parents focus on one aspect that might not even be that important and interesting for their kids, neglecting the fact that there is a difference in interests and way of thinking.
A good advise would be to get closer to your own kids, know what their interests are and goals they want to achieve. Understand that they are living in totally different circumstances, thus raising them should be in a different way. Not anything that seems to be important to you, is in fact important for others. Also, giving orders and expecting the kids to do them without getting an answer for why, might be hard to get. Explain that kids are supposed to tidy up they rooms because they are part of the family and everyone in the family is contributing in chores just like everyone in the family enjoys vacation trips and outdoor dinners.
The Pleaser:
Parents with this personality show so much love to their kids, because they are easy going and they can’t say no for their kids requests. For example they let their kids stay awake till 9pm while they are supposed to be in bed by 8pm, they allow more sweets, junk food or video games because the kids like it. The issue with this personality is that not only they unintentionally teach kids bad behaviours that can affect their physical health, mental health, sleep, school and more, but they also risk to raise pleasers. It might not seem to be bad when they are young, but imagine that your kid is pleasing others in high school or college! Not what a parent wishes for their children.
Parents with this personality should set rules and stick to them for the benefit of their loved children. Saying no for some requests from time to time is not a bad idea, it teaches the kids to build a strong personality and allows them to learn when to say no too when necessary in college, work or in their life in general.
Takeaway:
There are other types of parents personalities that weren’t mentioned here, we focused on the three major ones that affect negatively the children behaviour. As parents we face many challenges to do the right thing with our kids, we can do so by learning and practicing.